just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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