I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
