playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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