Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
