sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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