I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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