Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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