I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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