NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
