This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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