he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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