You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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