2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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