There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
