Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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