All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
