He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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