elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
