A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
