her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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