She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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