If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
