i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
