I think I died a long time ago.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
