nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
