My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
