I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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