My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
