I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
