And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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