Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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