i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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