All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
