I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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