what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
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What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
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Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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