I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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