Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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