from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
