Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
