covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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