uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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