i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
