I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I've blown a few things in my day
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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