She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
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I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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