they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
