I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm always down for nudity.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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