Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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