Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
