I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
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I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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