I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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