you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
