How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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