shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
