White coat. Heels.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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