True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize