There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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