Don't make out with my wife yet
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize