I forgot how hot balto sounded
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
