The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
